why didn't you poke me back
how can u be prego again
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
it glows. i had to have it.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
