why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
