my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
dude. I can hear the air.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
