Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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