Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
