Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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