That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
