i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
