My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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