I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
