your parents love me but you hate me
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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