i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
