i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
