she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
