we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
50% drunk capacity currently
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
