Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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