Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
