Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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