Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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