yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
