Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
