Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
