i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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