If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm passing your future prison.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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