Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm gonna fight the coyote
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
