the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
