yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
