also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
