Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
