My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
