i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
