Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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