Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
