He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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