So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
