I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
