One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
