Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
