I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
