Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Text me some of your sweat
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
