Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
