Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
