Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
