when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
