I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
