she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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