Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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