i jhust puked up my retainher.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
