$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Randomize
