I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
