did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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