Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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