I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
