but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
