So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
