Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
